Back in May 2003, while driving home from work, I took the Bermuda-Mohawk exit off the eastbound I-696 service drive. I had been taking this exact route home for years. Just two or three weeks earlier, unfortunately, as a reduction-in-traffic measure, the City had erected a sign on Mohawk changing it to a one-way southbound street weekdays between the hours of 3:00 p.m. and 6:00 p.m.

By force of habit, I took it northbound anyway. Sure enough, one of Royal Oak’s finest was waiting for me. I pleaded with him to let me off with a warning; needless to say, my pleas fell on deaf ears.

So I burned a vacation day a few weeks later to have my day in court. Surely the judge would look at my impeccable driving record and my twelve years of continuous residence in the neighborhood. Surely he would recognize I had had a momentary mental lapse. Surely he would throw the ticket out. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

Out of the goodness of his heart, he knocked the charges down to impeding traffic. I got to pay a “modest” $150 fine to keep the points off my driving record. This is the City’s idea of clemency! Good thing the cops and judges are civil servants who work for me. I shudder to think what happens to me if our positions are reversed.