Saturday, September 23, 2017

Radatz Wins and Loses the Same Game

Radatz, the starting pitcher for Toledo, is trying to keep the Aberdeen Pheasants at bay. It's the top of the seventh, Toledo's down 3-2, and Aberdeen has the bases loaded with one out. On a 1-2 pitch, Radatz gets Flood to bounce into an inning-ending double-play.

As the Mudhens come up to bat for their half of the seventh inning, the rains come. The umpires suspend the game. It's August 4th. The suspended game will become the front end of a twi-night doubleheader (remember those?) to be played on September 19th.

On Labor Day, Radatz gets traded to the Pheasants. That same day, in a game against the Lansing Lugnuts, Joe Sparma, the Pheasants' pitcher of record in the August 4th game against Toledo, tears his ACL sliding into second and is out for the season.

Aberdeen and Toledo resume play on September 19th. With Sparma out for the season, Aberdeen's skipper decides to pitch Radatz in relief against his old teammates for the bottom half of the seventh inning. Radatz gives up up a walk and a single. With one out and two men on base, Mudhen slugger Chris Cannizarro hits a home run, putting Toledo up by two. The inning ends with Aberdeen up 5-3.

Toledo's relief pitcher Navarro cruises through the eight and ninth innings. Toledo wins 5-3. The winning pitcher for Toledo is their starter, Dick Radatz. The losing pitcher for Aberdeen is their reliever, Dick Radatz.

I'm convinced there's a violation of The Great God Natural Rights somewhere in there. Rights knows I'll never find it.

Sunday, August 27, 2017

Blood & Soil

Adopt seven of the 10 Planks of the Communist Manifesto, nobody bats an eye. Invoke a folksy truism uttered by a Nazi eighty years ago and everybody loses his mind.

Sunday, August 20, 2017

The Amish are a Hate Group

Blood? Check. Soil? Check. Family? Check. Tradition? Check. Christianity? Check. Community? Check. Separatism? Check.
Throw in anti-vaxxism, raw milk-trafficking, and opposition to the permanent regime to Americanize the globe via humanitarian bombing.
But wait. There's more.
Their Scriptures are written in German! That's right! German! The language of Schicklgruber himself!
See? I told you the Amish are a hate group.

Saturday, August 12, 2017

Adulterous Fidelity & Homicidal Humanitarianism

My wife found out about the affair. She acts all hurt and confused and humiliated and everything. As if I did something wrong. As if I betrayed her. 

She doesn't get it. The other woman is a coeval (read: she's old as hell). Yeah, she's got a great rack. She's put the miles on, but you won't find much rust on that chassis! She's a battleaxe nonetheless. It's not as if I strayed to pursue a much younger woman. I'm no cad. Cads are interested in one thing and one thing only. 

My fling was different. Lust had something to do with it, sure. But there was so much more to it than that. 

I did it for the Greater Good. I did it for love. It's true. Greater love than this hath no man, that he lay down his marital vows--stomp on them, wipe his feet on them, thumb his nose at them--for his marriage. 

How does rocking the wild thing with a woman not your wife strengthen the marital bond? You may well ask. You may also thereby betray your half-baked morality tunnel. Homo sapiens has evolved. The species has emerged from the Dark Ages. Dogma now takes a backseat. The human drama is made of a richer fabric today.  

Any student of (court) history will tell you. Sometimes you have to violate your principles to advance your principles. That's the only way to advance your principles.  

What is taxation if not a violation of property to advance the institution of property? What is quantitative easing if not a perpetration of monetary fraud to advance a sound currency? What is war if not murder and mayhem to advance humanity and civility? 

The anti-principle runs up and down society. Take America's Greatest President. Abraham Lincoln censored newspapers, confiscated handguns, shelled New York to quell anti-draft riots, intercepted the mail, imprisoned dissidents, deported an U.S. Congressman from Ohio after he delivered an anti-war speech on the House floor, and sicced the U.S. Army on the Maryland State Legislature to bar it from voting on a secession resolution. 

Lincoln waged war on Southern civilians. He killed about 50,000 of them, a good portion of them slaves.  

Then came Give 'Em Hell Harry Truman? Did he ever. He nuked tens of thousands of innocent civilians to death. He did it to save lives. 

Strong marriages are the sine qua non of strong families Family is fundamental unit of society. Civilizations unravel without stable families. 

Finally, there's that whippersnapper Paul Ryan. (

Ryan actually voted to approve TARP, and explained in an interview with the Daily Caller in February 2010 that "we were on the cusp of a deflationary spiral which would have created a Depression," and that "if we would have [sic] allowed that to happen, I think we would have had a big government agenda sweeping through this country so fast that we wouldn't have recovered from it. So in order to prevent a Depression and a complete evisceration of the free market system we have, I think it was necessary. It wasn't a fun vote."

Peanuts & Camels & Diderot

I've long hated peanuts. I've long hated camels. Then, in a blinding flash of Zen clarity, it hits me.
Peanuts are brown with a curved back! Camels are brown with a curved back! For all intents and purposes, peanuts are camels!
"Ah ha!" I exclaim, barely able to contain my glee. "Diderot was right! The world won't know peace until the last peanut is strangled with the entrails of the last camel!"

Religion is Anti-Vaxxism is Government

Religion is different than government because the church doesn't use threats. It's voluntary.
People obey the state, not because there's an armed state agent in everyone's face, but because of the threat of an armed state agent being in their face in the future if they don't obey.
People obey the church, not because the devil is in everyone's face, but because of the threat of the devil being in their face for all eternity in the future if they don't obey.
Same psychological conditioning, same tactics, same shit. All man-made dogma to control and enrich.

*       *       * 

Alternative Medicine is different from government because the anti-vaxxers don't use threats. It's voluntary.
People obey the state, not because there's an armed state agent in everyone's face, but because of the threat of an armed state agent being in their face in the future if they don't obey.
People obey the anti-vaxxers, not because toxic vaccine additives are in everyone's face, but because the threat of illness spawned by those additives is in their face in the future if they don't obey.
Same psychological conditioning, same tactics, same shit. All man-made dogma to control and enrich.  

Thursday, August 10, 2017

Entrails & Rights

If you're romping around the place strangling some people with the entrails of other people, the world won't know peace. By definition.

The world won't know peace until the last person who claims the world won't know peace until a specific event happens is strangled by the entrails of the last person who knows the world won't know peace no matter what happens. Because in that case everybody will be dead.

The world won't know peace until the last reproductive rights activist is strangled with the entrails of the last animal rights activist. Because reproductive rights and animal rights are fake. Or reproductive rights are real and animal rights are fake. Or the other way around. Or they're both real. You decide. Let evidence and reason be your guide.

I've long wondered whether Truman dropped the bomb on Japan's most Christian city only to establish his Freemasonic cred. The world won't know peace until the last democratic president is hung by the entrails of the last secular Rights theorist.

Stupid entrails-wielding Romans.

Saturday, August 05, 2017

My Definitions, My Axioms, Objective Morality

I have spun artful definitions of rights, personhood, aggression, fraud, self-defense, and property. I have cited axioms, i.e., principles that are self-evident to me. My conclusions logically follow.
See? Morality is objective and rational. You ought to behave the way reason tells you to behave. That's what it means to be nice. You want to be nice, don't you?

Saturday, June 24, 2017

The Divine Right of Rights

Rights believers claim the divine right to rule others. They call their divine right to rule others reason, not religion, but they take a theological position just the same.

People can and do give authority they don't have. That's why the French Revolutionaries and Bolsheviks employed agents with guns. They had to force people espousing the old-time religion to obey their new and improved version.

Religion has to do with ultimacy. The anti-Sky Wizard position on ultimacy is more prone to fanaticism and violence than the pro-Sky Wizard position.