Saturday, January 09, 2016

The Second Coming, Not So Hot Version

Cardinal Pietro Parolin storms into the Pope's bedroom. It's four o'clock in the morning.
"Cardinal Pietro! Why do you so rudely wake me from my slumber?!" the Pope wants to know.
"Your Holiness, I have extraordinary news for you, both wonderful and terrible! You won't believe what has just happened!" the Cardinal tells him.
"What is it?"
"Which do you want to hear first? The wonderful news or the terrible news?"
"Pietro, I am an old man. My heart is weak. Better to impart the wonderful news first, lest the terrible news kill me."
"Your Holiness, Our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, has made His triumphant return!"
"Why, this is indeed wonderful!" the Pope exclaims. How can there be any terrible news when our joyful hope over two millennia is now coming to fruition?!"
"Well, Holy Father, it seems that Our Lord has seen fit to descend from the clouds to a specific place."
"Yes? Is it Jerusalem? Nazareth? Bethlehem? Here in Rome, the seat of His Holy Church, itself?!" The Pope can barely contain his glee.
"No, He has selected another city altogether: Salt Lake City."


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