We live in politically correct times, but Muslims aren't necessarily beneficiaries of it. Nine Eleven changed all that.

The chattering classes once viewed Islam as Oriental: it was mystical, laid-back, exotic, enchanting and even hip. Its recurring clashes with Euro-Christianity only elevated it in their eyes. Alas, the Mohammedans sicced hijackers on the Twin Towers and Pentagon on that fateful day. As the symbols of state-directed, forced-to-be-free, welfare-warfare “capitalism” came down, so too did the semi-esteem in which the *bien-pensants* held the Mohammedans.

One may now defame Muslims in polite company with impunity. They have joined southern whites, Catholics, Baptists, Germans and, indeed, Euro-Christians in general among the eternally accursed. For it is only in advancing the unique monstrosity of such condign pariahs that we may usher in a New World Order of peace, harmony, democracy, economic justice, mandatory flu shots and publicly financed baseball stadiums.

Killing in the name of God is evil. Killing in the name of the Great God Democracy is at worst a necessary evil. Hence the One Indispensable Nation's interminable campaigns of uplift, which it wages only as a last resort, while shedding crocodile tears over the inevitable collateral damage, yet secure in the knowledge it acts only to advance a Greater Good: liberating women from their burqas, toppling dictators it previously supported, smashing fascism, containing communism, exporting democracy, and ensuring the flow of oil to thankless allies.

Reason has triumphed over Medievalism. Homicidal humanitarianism rocks! We’re all Lincoln’s children now.