I submitted the three Wellerisms that follow to AWAD. The webmaster, one Anu Garg, is not the least bit sympathetic to libertarian political theory, so I strongly suspect he'll reject all three.

“This legislation will save Thai children from sweatshop exploitation,” sniffed the Western do-gooder, barring the youngsters' only escape from a lifetime of backbreaking subsistence labor in the family rice paddies.

“I favor applying the Golden Rule to our foreign policy,” the presidential candidate remonstrated with his audience of South Carolina Christians, as they erupted in a chorus of jeers.

"I believe in a woman's right to do as she chooses with her own body," intoned the ardent pro-choice drug warrior, circulating her anti-medicinal marijuana petition.