Marriage Evolves Yet

I favor same-sex heterosexual marriage. Yes, that's right: same-sex *and* heterosexual. I'm planning to marry an old college buddy. We have no intention of lying with each other as with a woman, for this is an abomination to the LORD. No, we're going to share a home and living expenses, even as we sleep in separate bedrooms.

We've each given the other the green light to cheat. Since we're heterosexual, that means we can bring women back to the house and fornicate with them. (This, too, is an abomination to the LORD, but so what?) No hard feelings! Well, at least not between the two of us--it remains to be seen how the women feel about the arrangement.

I am committed to my college buddy. He can have my health insurance. I don't care if he cheats on me with women. I hope to do the same to him! If this isn't a marriage, I don't know what is.